Accidentally Rich

The high beams were beating straight into his eyes. He would have sweared at these fancy cars any other day. Over the years the scooter ride home has become too tiring. The fancy cars are too fast, te drivers too careless and added to that the roads would beat the craters in moon. Back home he spent his evenings nursing the sore back

But this evening his thoughts were drawn somewhere else. The high beams didnt bother him. It seemed to him that the traffic was simply floating.

Each morning he woke up hoping his day would be smooth, that he would end up a millionaire, that he would go for jogging or badminton in snowhite outfit. Decades ago when he joined the company, everyone said his life was made. He managed to land up a pretty girl (thanks to the profile). He managed to get a loan and built a small home ( not exactly big as his dream home though)

Then at some point or the other everything stopped. He seemed to be stuck in his position for decades. Company seemed to have got over its boom. Everything became stagnant. The once bright lights seemed to have dimmed, wooden furnishing seemed to be peeling off and the air stenchy.

People seemed to hate each other and were too eager to bite each other behind the back. Can't blame them. This is the only way to get through this eternal pit. Back then , while joining, 'no-pension' didn't bother him much. Life seemed to be forever young. Now with a little more than a decade left for a 'tearful send off' he felt the involuntary shivers down his spine

The only thing he feared was his sons ending up doing mediocre things like him. Unless he wins a lottery or some childless uncle leaves him an estate he doesn't have any chance. But the probablity of both incidents were very very negligible.

That's when the well dressed sauve-speaking marketing executive came up for a 'financial education' session. He had tried his  hand at all fancy financial instruments and came out unhurt but not rich. Even though nothing else interested him, the 'Áccidental insurance' caught his imagination. A paltry amount can make him richer if he 'died'. And added to that there is no limit for the amount to which his life can be nsured. The marketing executive, seeing his interest went a step  ahead and regaled him with the stories of dead men who ended up rich.

The scooter kept on floating in his dream world until rudely awoken by the sudden beam of light from a car that took a sharp turn in front of him

A letter to Mein Fuhrer

Sir,

I would like to congratulate you & your fellow management for systematically gagging and destroying the so called employees association. I was never an admirer of the association. Their sole aim in life was collecting the monthly fees & giving benevolent posting to the faithful. Still, with all the flaws, the association was an accepted body that took up the issues of the employees. Now with the nemesis out of the way, you can practice more ‘democracy’.

Trash loading the Bank Times with your pleas, war cries, prophecies of impending doom was one smart move. The web site was official site for communication & a place where all the employees frequented. The association never had such a forum. You alienated the old behemoth with your smart move. You exploited the crowd mentality & addiction to ‘bytes’. My heart felt appreciation. You’re smart & this smartness might be the reason that overlooked your lack of seniority and catapulted you to the chairman of the nation’s largest banks. This smartness will ensure you end up with a plump posting upon the impending retirement.

The world we live in is not for the people who are good at heart. Rather its for the ones who speak about love, benevolence, ethics, balancing personal & professional life, taking care of your parents & ultimately gifting ambulances and water purifiers. By the way you needn’t mention that gifting ambulances and water purifiers , which you do in the name of Corporate Social Responsiblity helps your accountants to play with balance sheets more favourably.

Now, it has become another great fantasy to declare a working day out of the blue. Holidays are looked on with fear and contempt. Imagine having to serve the esteemed customer while you should’ve been with your family?!! I just love the way you shock your employees by putting the ad in every single newspaper declaring the bank will open on holidays. And for the record you’ve even declared the bank will open till midnight on Easter. The ad addressed to the ‘esteemed customer’ scares the shit out of 50 year old lazy bum who would’ve been looking forward to spend time relaxing at home.

As if to add icing to the cake he scampers around searching for the benefits he’s entitled to get for dragging his lazy ass to the office on a holiday. One day I bet you are going to surprise one and all by removing the perks and I hope i live long enough to see it.

I donot understand who are you trying to serve by the ‘extended working hours’. I don’t see the Indian masses rejoicing seeing your notification in the paper. Nor do they bother to bank just because its a holiday. Sir, I guess men live by bread and water alone. They donot eat cash.

May be you’re in the process of conducting a great sociological experiment by churning out a mass of obedient employees who are unable to respond. Who am I to question your vision!

All the very best to you Sir

Revenue recovery experiences

Evening. I looked at the boy, his cute innocent smile. Too many faces for the day and too little time to make any sense of it. The boy is too small for this world. There is a cocoon protecting him. Many don’t get the chance. Let him be – safe and happy.

We had set out for revenue recovery Mela in the morning. For those of you who may mistake ‘Mela’ for a festival, it’s far away from that. The bitch did warn that this was going to be something like a roller-coster ride. She wasn’t wrong. The journey started through the picturesque Kuttanad belt. The ducks and the fields came straight out of a picture post card. The paradox is this beautiful region is increasingly sounding the death knell of many a people.
We, four officials started out in the morning, intending to reach half an hour late. The people must know who the VIP is. Me and my mate were kind of stenographers- doing nothing creative but filling out the negotiation sheets. As for my mate, I found it particularly tough to stand her. But guts is a quality you might never find in me. We walked into the room to find it filled with people. We have to push and shove to reach our seat.

As soon as we rested our asses people teemed in and crowded around the table. I sat there watching the people, when the boss was doing his negotiations. There were disabled, people on crutches, people with proud faces and some with sympathy . Revenue recovery basically happens after Bank writes off debts. Then it turns out to be the duty of village officer to get back the money. We with a view to get back anything we might have lost, try to squeeze in as much as we can. A small commission is paid to the Village office. Even the interest rates aren’t calculated correctly and the whole thing is a publicity stunt.

Ever since liberalization and Basel days, banks have been trying hard and mad to meet the capital norms. So they tend to be extra cautious when there is a chance for assets going bad. But on top of it Government pushes for more loans to priority sector. There is a great chance for the loans going bad. And without enough security we’ve no choice but to write it off.

As soon as the whole exercise started, the people clammered around the table crying, pleading, demanding a waiver. The tough part was to make out the genuine cases from the fake ones. One of our initial cases was a man who took the educational loan for his kid and the kid couldn’t find a job and couldn’t repay it. I soon found out this wasn’t going to be the last.

A few years ago, Government decided to dole out licenses for free to any sort of educational institutions. The man behind the idiotic idea is protecting our country as the defense minister. His idea of rooting out corruption was to legalize it. Then to get the votes they forced the banks to give the loans for free. Then to please the cash hungry, illiterate college chairmen they liberalized the fee structure. Today we have the situation where young kids with starry eyes walk away with huge loans. It takes them 4 years to realize there are no MNCs waiting and the small jobs aren’t enough for the EMIs.

I met a guy from as far as Bangalore. Once upon a time male nurses was a lucrative option for the not so intelligent boys. The fees were obscene and today the hospitals totally shut out the jobs for men and the poor guy said he had no option but a higher study. He assured me the chances for a job is assured there. Who knows?!

Then there was this man who carried her palsy affected kid. He started with folded hands on his sick child. Our boss coldly cut him short, ‘Come to the point’. May be he came into exploit some of our soft corners. I was confused by the sympathy towards this man and despise for carrying his sick kid along.

The other interesting genre were the ones who stood as mutual guarantors. Even failure of one pulled the other into a quagmire, they were dragging each other in afraid to let the other go. There were women who went back and pawned their gold. They were very sure that, they might not be able to get it back.

Housing is a dream for every Mallu. But as soon as he starts to build it, he just blows away the cash. There was a well dressed man. From the looks of it, it became obvious that he was not used to this crowd. He later broke up and said even his wife’s Mangal Sutra was pawned and he had to lock his sick mother at home to come here. Even the unshakeable boss was visibly shaken.
Interestingly when the Mallyas, with as much as 7000 crore walk around happily and still throwing money around, people with a loan as less as 50000 bucks have to come crawling on their knees. Mallya still is the rash, lovely guy who has the time of his life. But how many bother that the money he gambles on his ventures, are really that of the people who beg for a waiver!!
Systematically we are heading to a total collapse- with a government who concentrates income generation capacity into the hands of a select few, while the rest of the population has to depend on them.