Lesson 2

Before I enter the main subject, there is a small announcement to make. This space is turning a year old. For me it’s quite unbelievable to survive for a year doing posts fairly regularly. I still remember the first days of confusion, learning and excitement.

Getting in to the serious stuffs-

I was in college and the exam seasons were back again. I have this special luck with the exams. No matter how hard I tried I ended up with average marks. This time the teachers screwed up too. They ended up skipping the important chapters. So there was no other option but to go for a private tuition.

I was returning home that evening after the day’s classes. I had been out all day and there was growling of an empty stomach to be heard. I entered my lane and on the way I saw a man asking our neighbors the directions. The neighbor called me over, ‘Aren’t you Jose’s nephew?’

‘Yeah’

‘This man is asking direction to your uncle’s house’

I didn’t understand the bewilderment in his expression. My mother’s brother stayed near us. I asked the stranger to follow me.

‘Isn’t Jose the one whose dad passed away this afternoon?’, the stranger asked en-route.

I was bewildered. I had seen my granddad this morning. He was strong and healthy and no namely illness to speak of. He was sure to last another 30 years and 60 was too young for him. He must have mistaken it for the ailing old lady living next door. The tension provided spring to my strides as I ran towards home.

I can only recollect the rest in images- the crowd, the body dressed in white, the tears.

That was the day when reality called ‘death’ sprouted in me. There comes a point of time in life when you value the lives of your loved ones dearly. I spent the bulk part of my childhood with my maternal grandparents. He had acquired the place of a father in my life. He was stubborn in his beliefs and today I have realized I inherited most of my values and traits from him.

To this day I pray for long life and health for my parents and everyone I love.

But sadly, I still have to endure the pain of ‘good bye’. The very day when this space turned a year old, someone announced I will have to bid adieu in a few weeks.

I am an eternal believer of goodness of fate and the good bye might be for the good for everyone.

A journey back

‘Do you really have to go?’, this is what friends and family asked me when I told them my plan. It’s just a brother of a friend’s marriage. You could just pay them a visit during the reception at home. Why to make a trip to other end of Kerala for that? But I had to go. This trip was not for my friend. It was for me. I was determined to get away from the grind.
I had to convince my folks that there were other guys coming along. I am sorry for lying. Travelling alone is not a great idea. You must be either a freak or desperate to do that. I don’t know to which category I fall.

I reached Kozhikkode the Sunday morning. I haven’t counted but I might have walked around the place atleast thrice. The weight of the shoulder bag no longer bothered me. It was ecstatic to walk around a place where no one knows you and where you know no one.

I stayed there only for a single day and was back in office the very next day. In between my wanderings I managed to attend the wedding and had a sumptuous banquet. In this single day I met four different set of people or rather four emotions.

Dreams
Any parent convinces themselves that their child is a superior being- brilliant, handsome and smart. They will reach out for the stars with a bit of hard work. The success stories of rags to IIT that comes in the newspaper is a propellant. And of course, there are banks to help us out with educational loans.
There was this middle aged couple in my train. They seemed to be an average family with an average education. The child was supposed to write an entrance exam for her medical studies the next day. Unfortunately, they hadn’t booked the train and so had to spend entire night awake. But still they didn’t show any tension. I wonder how the kid fared in the exams after a sleepless night in a train.
Their hope for a bright future for the kid struck me. Even if the girl passed the exams she would have to pay an astronomical sum as fees in the college. I doubt if the thought worried them

Nostalgia
Kappad beach was my primary destination. But since I wasted lot of time roaming around, I was in a real hurry.
The person sitting next to me in the bus was dressed in black and white. He was old, bald and sat quietly. Being a lone traveler makes you vulnerable. You fear to expose your vulnerability or lack of knowledge. In the end I asked him,out of impatience, ‘How long does it takes to reach Kappad?’
I couldn’t make out most of what he said. But he went on and on about the beach, it’s historical importance etc.
He then opened his bag and fetched out a bundle of papers. I doubted if this was some kind of request for donation.
He opened it up and showed me Photostats of a young man who got into Guinness book for playing multiple instruments at a time. As I said before, his voice was too soft and I couldn’t make out much due to the rumbling bus. I had to decipher the young man was him. There were photos of him posing with famous personalities and even a half naked photo from the hippi era
He worked in a resort now as a musician. As we alighted the bus he expressed his inability to invite me over to the resort. It was a shady area.
In his twilight years, he must be helpless but to reminiscence the glorious years. He must feel very satisfied when he gets someone to show the old clippings to someone.

Admirer
After the wedding function I hit the famous Kappad beach. You get good pictures out of these beaches. The people are relaxed and the sunset gives an awesome lighting effect. But in a Muslim dominated area you can easily be mistaken too.
While I was busy clicking, a chubby girl approached me. She asked me for the reason I was photographing the rocks. I was apprehensive about her first but later learnt that she had only the best of intentions. She went on talking and talking. My eyes were on her attractive cousin standing quietly nearby
In the end she said ‘You have a very smart personality’. I do not know if she is crazy. But getting appreciated by the fairer sex is rare. So I count this invaluable. I wonder why none of the girls of my age finds me attractive.

Serene
The railway platform was crowded even at night. Many had to get back to their workplaces the next day and were impatiently awaited for the train. A drunken man was entertaining the crowd with his speech on the corrupt government.
I managed to get a seat in the platform. A beautiful woman sat next to me with a child. She was a muslim and presumably younger than me (These muslims are in a hurry for parenthood as soon as they are married).
I sat there tired and wanting to get some sleep. She asked me which train I was getting in. Her voice was very soft and she wore no cosmetics. Still she looked extremely beautiful.
She was visiting a famous cancer centre in the capital. I asked if it was for studies or job. She nodded negatively. I assume someone dear must be sick or she might be going for a check-up.
But the serenity she oozed – I was spell bound. Hope everything goes well for her.

Guys, there are wide variety of people in this world. Open your eyes and watch in wonder.

(Go to my PhotoBlog for the snaps)

Made in Heaven

Media and sleazy magazines particularly have a party time when someone gets caught in a mess- double party if there is a remote connection to sex. I was on a vacation to my friends in Bangalore. I saw the daily newspaper lying on the sofa.
‘We use it as a substitute for porn’.
On the fear of a sting operation I refrain from naming the paper. But Bangloreans can take a guess on the paper that does a daily research on the actresses’ boob size.

A few weeks back the papers were on a rock and roll.
The Boy and The Girl had been married for just six days. The Couple was back from Kerala. The Boy’s friends managed to get an apartment for them. Six days and back to work!! Well, for an Indian professional it’s a nightmare to get married or to produce a baby. I know a few people who had to beg their managers to allow them to get married (read as permission for leave). And you better not have a baby if there are no retired parents to look after it.

Getting back to the story, The Girl’s parents dropped The Couple at their home to get the breakfast. They returned back to see two bodies bathed in blood. They vainly hoped that it was a break-in. To their horror the boy admitted to murder and attempted suicide.

Everyone got into speculative mood. From what I get from the sleazy magazines, The Girl was churning out triple of what The Boy was churning. So apparently she assumed the manager post in the family and started pissing off The Boy. Anyways in a fine moment The Boy lost his cool.
The marriage was one supposed to be made in heaven. He was quite active in the religious activities. She was a relative of the Bishop. The small Christian community was shocked. Studies were done and sermon delivered on the reason of failure of the Y-Generation marriages.

So where have we gone wrong?

Parents have to reconcile with the fact that their kids have their own set of values and principles. Why? Just do a mental calculation on the amount of time your kid spends with you. The bulk amount of time is spent in school, colleges, office, private rooms, computers, televisions or friends. You have no means to influence them. The funny thing is the lives of parents’ wouldn’t be a worthwhile piece to emulate.

The television and media has done enough to create a bunch of kids ‘liberal’ in their outlook. Adultery and infidelity are glorified. Corrupt politicians and businessmen are eulogized and so are our bollywood stars turning up with their skimpily clad girl friends.

So never make a choice for your child’s life partner. They may agree to your choice not bothering to pick up a fight. Leave them to their own mechanisms and in time they will come up with their mates.

Come to terms with the fact that your kid has more knowledge and exposure to sex (than you). Check out the number of girl kids who hit the beauty salon for waxing. Don’t tell me there is no sexual element involved. Or even check out the pre- teen girls with padded bra, the lewd SMSes exchanged daily, the number of boys who hit the gyms, spike their hair or get a tattoo. Even more the idiot box in your living room has enough ammo for a sexual high.

I had to wait till 15 to grasp the method of sex. There was no CDs available and no one was familiar with internet. The only option was video parlour. Since the entire neighborhood uses the same parlor, chances of getting caught were high.

Get a grip, human civilization is moving back into Jungle era where people explore various options of pleasure. The danger of sexual dissatisfaction is high. So open up your minds and allow your kid to have certain levels of freedom. Rather than being taught let him experience that sex/sexuality is not the most important thing to happen.

Have you come across Indian movies where the newly wedded soldier husband has to report for duty immediately after marriage because some war broke up. Well it’s not unrealistic any more. The Indian youths hit the office right after their marriage. Jokes apart, I have seen couples, wedded out of love, going for their (first) honeymoon years after the marriage. We are so insecure that we decide to settle down as soon as we wed. So we cannot go around with our wives in the public transport and here comes a car on credit. We will never know when the owner throws us out of his house and here comes an apartment. So let’s spend rest of our lives repaying the loan. Come on, life is too short for loan repayment.

And lastly, do not get married as soon as you are engaged. It’s really healthy to have a long courtship. Discuss all you have to at this time. Get to know each other as the palm of your hand. So that your first night will have no space for words but just for some hot action.

Hey, I am looking for an alternative career as a marriage counselor. Howzzat!!

Hero of our times....4

I was quite surprised to see Pradeep again after a long time. The last time I saw him was on the screen. It was a small scene in a not-so-successful movie.

I was plainly happy to see him. We were both on the middle of our routine work-out. So we couldn’t talk much. But the few sentences he said made me really happy in meeting a man different from others.

Pradeep had been a movie enthusiast right from his college days. He was obsessed with making it to the screen. He had to sacrifice his studies a bit. He had done choreography for a song which went on to become a hit.

Rest of the story, Pradeep is going to narrate for you:

I come from a typical Syrian conservative Christian family. We watch movies rarely and have no relatives/friends in the industry.

The movie industry is a jungle. No matter how talented you are, unless you have the right people at the right places you are not going to make it. It’s a bad man’s world. The people with genuine talent would be too arrogant to approach. The untalented ones would have established themselves through the back door mean. Back door includes a wide variety of activities like pimping, pulling down people close to you and a little bit of bribing. The second category would be too crooked to approach.

Filmdom is not a honest man’s world. You will have to play a sycophant right from the top to bottom. If you are yet to establish yourself even the insignificant person can bring you down. Right from the story board to the editor’s desk to the first screening you will have to fight continually from being eliminated by the fittest. So your primary struggle is to get into the good books of everyone. Then there are people who discourage you, and persuade you to go back home.

It’s difficult to keep your value system intact in the fight. Compromising a bit in what you believe in can earn you rich rewards. But that’s the last thing I would want to do.

Thankfully, my wife understands my passion. In fact this was one condition I kept before marriage. I have to keep my job intact while I hunt for the chances. Besides I will have to monitor my physique.

Every time I see a silver lining on the horizon, I realize that it was just an imagination. But hopefully I will get a break through.

Guys, rarely do we see a person with a real ambition. Chasing dreams are not easy. That too when you have family obligations and the principles that you believe in to hold you back.

So let’s wish Pradeep the very best and pray that his opening will happen soon. I am looking forward to announce the happy news in my blog.

Voiceless

The showers had just ceased. The city felt slight relief from the severe afternoon heat. I set out for my evening jog. Although the traffic was heavy with people rushing home from work, there were no pedestrians on the sidewalk.

I was passing by a bus shelter. There was a dark figure lying under the shade, probably to escape from the rain. I dared to take a peek through the corner of my eye. ‘It’ had a long hair like a woman’s. I couldn’t make out the dress. It was a dirty rag thrown over the body. I couldn’t stand the smell. I rushed away and took a deep breath of fresh air.

We were in our college when we heard about the home for the destitute and made a visit. We were a group of youngsters and we made it a point to visit the place regularly. We helped in cooking and cleaning (even the toilets). Spending an afternoon with these mentally challenged people became a revelation for us. Frankly, many a times they exhibited more ‘innocent’ intelligence than a normal man. It was not that easy for us. Many of us took time to adjust to the way of life there. Everything from water to food wastes were precious and had to be conserved and recycled. But these were good lessons for comparatively well-off people.

The institute was run by a nun, who was ousted by the church for bearing a different vision from that of the church. But despite being ex-communicated she always wore a nun’s dress. She managed this institute of 40-60 inmates all by herself. She received very little donation. The only thing in abundance was these challenged people. The taxi-drivers and policemen dumped all the unwanted on the pavements to this place.

The left-over food from marriages was ‘donated’ to seek the divine blessings in exchange. She got very little physical help too. A few youngsters like us visited once in a while and helped out in cooking, bathing and cleaning. The nun was not getting any younger and suffered from various ailments. To be frank her mental health was also affected due to the continuous strain.

The inmates in better shape than others managed to help the nun. An old lady, very much weak in health, did the chores very silently. Then there was this lady good in slicing vegetables. But she had this problem of stealing unknowingly. She used to slice the vegetables and hide them. So the nun had to keep an eye on her. There was a young woman with a young son and baby daughter. They were abandoned by the father. She did no help in the household activities despite being in perfect physical condition. But the little boy and baby girl spread love all around.

I still remember the day. It was vacation time in college. The news in the front page caught my eye. The police had busted some racket somewhere. I love these spicy stories. But the feeling turned to horror when I came to know that police raided our destitute home. The story was that some political activists surrounded the place alleging that a sex mafia was working behind the scenes. Police raided the place and found a man and woman in suspicious circumstances. They also found an air-gun, condoms and a few sleazy magazines. All the inmates were thrown out and the nun arrested. To make the matters worse some of the deceased inmates were buried in the compound.

We were too ashamed that we had worked for such a group and were silent for some days. Then some secret inquiries were made. That was a time when the property prices were shooting up. The institute had a good amount of land surrounding it. The nun had leased out the space from someone and he wanted to evict them. This person played the dirty game and since he had the money anything would have been possible. The nun was too old and not in the best shape, physically or mentally, to watch out for the vultures.

We never know what happened to the nun or inmates. Many might have died, many may be still begging, a few would have moved out to similar places and a few woman would have turned to prostitution. What would have happened to those kids? Is the nun still in jail? No one bothered to enquire. Has the institution given way to some multi-storied apartment.

The next day also I found the same figure, but this time it was standing on my way. ‘It’ was half naked. I tried to bypass ‘it’ without looking. But still I involuntarily stole a peek. ‘It’ was flat chested and hence it had to be man. But still the hair was plaited like a girl’s. The smell made me retch. I ran away. But then I realized, it was not the smell but the conscious that hurted the most.

Hero of our times...1

From his childhood Pappu had been an avid reader of books. He grew up as a rebel. But he lived in an era when the youth had become disillusioned with the ideological vaccum created by the independence era generation. August 15, 1947 had given them high hopes for a better tomorrow. But their hopes were crashed by a corrupt system.

He was a member of neighborhood library and did many plays in the local cultural community. He had started writing at an early age but could never overcome his shyness to publish them.

As expected he did very well in the high school. He did exceptionally well in the language subjects. He went with his father to get admitted to college. Literature was his dream destination. With his marks he could easily secure an admission.

While waiting for an audience with the Principal, his father met his old friend, Ayyappa Panicker. AP had recently got an award for his poems. He was very well known in the literary circles. On learning that he wanted to put his son in literature, AP took Pappu’s father aside. AP explained the difficulties of securing a job with a literature degree. While as science degree had become the trend of the season. It was easy to secure jobs, go for higher studies, go abroad etc. A literature student could become a teacher or professor with much luck and bribes. There is a good chance he will roam around the streets unshaven and hungry.

Any ways his father acted very quickly. Before Pappu could protest, he found himself in a chemistry class.

Chemicals were never his cup of tea. He sat at the back benches reading through the great literary works he got from the library. As long as he was not a bother his teachers didn’t disturb him. He soon grew to be a nuisance, getting into arguments with his teachers. Some of the orthodox teachers lavishly cursed him.

Pappu joined state radio as a presenter. He befriended the literary geniuses, weekly publishers and others of his wavelength. Slowly people started realizing his abilities. He managed to get his first novel published. That was very well received and he won a national award for it.

Encouraged by his friends, he quit his job and started writing scripts for films and then moved to direction.

Pappu grew on to become on the greatest Malayalam director ever. His films became the bench mark for Malayalam industry. Movie buffs, like me, still think of him with pride.

Ladies and gentlemen introducing to you my favorite Malayalam director- Padmarajan. Here you can read one of my first post about him.

Afterword: Whatever the situation you are in, with a bit of hard work and luck, you can reach your destinity

Mahathma.....The Great Human

I was never a psychologist, but always loved to study people’s behavior and analyze why people behave so in so and so situations.

Someone who has never ceased to capture my attention is apna Gandhiji. From our school days we were taught how great a man he was, how saintly he was. Later most of the newspapers said that, so did the world leaders, great men like Mandela said they drew their inspiration from Gandhi. Anyone who said something against him was labeled as anti nationals.

One of the best historical fiction I have read is Kushwant Singh’s ‘Delhi’. I had not read much into history. Kushwant Singh’s version of history shook me pretty much. It was for the first time I learnt what a cruel man Aurangazeb was. It was for the first time that I had come to know that Mughals where the ones who started the divide and rule policy and not the British. I came to know why many Indians fought for the British against Indians in First war of independence. There is no point in denying the fact that we would have been living in a different place and in a different state if British had not come here. Their contribution to the great Indian civilization is something that cannot be ignored.

WARNING: This blog is to encourage readers to confront the facts. If you do not want to, then please do not go on.

During our school days we were taught the Indian National Congress version of history. All the freedom fighters were angels in khadi. I don’t want to say that the sacrifices they made for our country was born out of any selfish acts. But I won’t agree that the political degradation started after India achieved freedom. I would say the degradation became more obvious and became enhanced after our freedom.

You will have to be exceptionally lucky to get a good book in the library here in Trivandrum. It is not because there are no books. It is because if the book is good, there is a good probability that it will be misplaced (don’t know if it is intentional or not). Sometimes I managed to get a good one. ‘Liberty Or Death’ by Patrick French was one.

Writing about India has become a trend among foreign authors. I believe it is because of the exotic tales you can write about poverty, pollution, practices, terrorism etc. You are bound to get a good number of western readers and a good deal of Indians too. But I really believe this guy has done his homework and has been careful not to get influenced by any particular school of thought with their own versions of history.

The part that caught my eye was the chapter on Gandhi. It seems that this guy has done some work on Gandhi. I felt slightly bad when a foreigner says he knows more about our Father of the nation than us. Well the truth is many works and writings of and on Gandhi has been expertly hid away from public reach.

We Indians need a hero in our daily lives to look up to. The hero can be from sports or bollywood or army or police (rarely). We won’t like anyone rubbishing our heroes. Free India needed some hero or saint to present to the world. The simple dressed Gandhi with his toothless smile fitted the bill. So he was elevated to the pedestal of sainthood.

Some interesting facts about Gandhi from the book, which you might not have known.

1. One of Gandhi’s obsession was with diet. He wrote many articles on food habits and proper diet to be adopted. He believed that all the diseases can be cured with proper diet and he used to prescribe diet for his fellow Ashram mates for their diseases, mostly dal and leafs. The first question he would ask the female ashram mates during his morning discourse was ‘Sisters, did you get good bowel movement in the morning?’

2. Due to his experiments with the truth he could not clearly draw a boundary between his personal, political and religious life. So all the three existed together in a murky, unclear relationship which was quite dangerous at times.

3. He had a medicine out of salivic enema which he administered personally.

4. He worked and wrote extensively on ‘Black Gold’, the extract from human excreta. He claimed that it can be used as a good fertilizer in our fields.

5. He got married to Kasturba in an early age. The young couple used to fight with each other regularly. She was a stubborn character but very much worldly wise. She did not acknowledge his teachings and practices fully. She had a firm say on family matters pertaining to she and her children. Gandhi became a brahmachari after his return from South Africa. He said he needed to conserve the ‘vital fluids’ to elevate him to a plane of spirituality. He believed sex emasculated man and made him coward, defiled woman. He wanted to eliminate sex from all kinds of relationships.

6. By now all might know Gandhi’s troubled relation with his elder son Hiralal. He changed his religion and reconverted back. He became an alcoholic. Gandhi did not believe in educating his children much.

7. Al though he is painted as benevolent to all religions, because of his attitude to his and Congress’ attitude to Muslims, Muslim league was alienated and ultimately lead to division of India. During Lucknow pact, not much effort was made to pacify the apprehensions of Muslim population. It is said that Gandhi had confided to his close friend that Hindu Muslim unity will not be possible.

8. In order to appease Muslim population he endorsed the Khliafat movement. Khliafat movement was not supported by moderate Muslims as they considered the people in it as too violent and low class. Khilafat movement came to a premature end when the Turkish government themselves dissolved the Caliphate.

9. During initial days of satyagraha he had spoken against inter caste and widow marriages. But later changed his view.

10. Even in spite of his call for Hindu Muslim unity, he opposed his son, Manilal’s, Muslim marriage. He said it is against his dharma.

11. When a controversy came up about him sleeping with his great grand niece, he said that he had become eunuch for the sake of truth.

12. He was a ruthless politician and negotiator and made sure that he got what he wanted. It was demonstrated during the partition talks. He made Nehru the congress president despite their difference in opinion.

13. Even when Gandhi was against the western type of industrialization he had no problem in accepting donation from big industrialists like Birla.

Well I think Gandhi was a human after all……..