The Big Game

I have this fat crazy friend who is always into making some quick easy money. One day he comes to me running.

“Dude, you want to make a bet’

‘?!!!’

‘I am into online betting group. You can easily make a cool thousand bucks every day.’

‘ Yaar I don’t watch cricket much. Leave me out’

‘Come on.... If we bring in more people the stakes increase’

‘Namasthey’

Another day I hit the local swanky coffee shop with the sole mal intention of staring out at cute chics. That day I’m surprised to see a few middle aged men sitting alone staring at the large screen playing IPL. Why sudden interest in cricket and that too in a coffee shop? Soon they were fishing out their mobiles and making some frantic calls. And you can guess why!

Here’s a large chunk of population indulging in technically illegal exercise- betting. Then feigning surprise and indignation when the huge machinery unintentionally spew a little dirt. Every season you have stories , arrests and expulsions based on fixing, money laundering and even sexual adventures. But the evil folklore has only added strength to the game. No doubt, the grey shades will only furthermore add glamour and glitz to the huge machinery in the coming days. The reason is not too hard to discover.  IPL caters to the basic human fetish of greed, lust and power. Even when we know it isn’t right, given a choice we would rather sip on vodka and munch on the cigar with hot women around. The cash rich urban India wouldn’t mind spending a 6 digit figure a night for a chance to chase a leg with favourite stars.

One night I find my female friend alive online. I ask her ‘why?’. ‘Watching IPL?’.

‘You watch cricket?’

‘Nah, just because I am a Gilly fan!’

Oh wow. The franchisees have su ecceeded in building a loyal fan base around a few stars. They couldn’t afford to do so with thnge tradition. So you have all the white men descending in herds unmindful of heat. The fancy English commentary, the Ramiz Raja , Siddhu and couple of guystrying to act funny, some guy reminding everyone he’s going for a party tonight, Sachin getting suddenly fit, Raina & Jadeja suddenly finding form of their lives, Gayle getting full tosses, misfields....all these unpredictable acts of destiny which adds to the beauty

 Meanwhile we put in some 'unquestionable' characters for #respect #Sachin #Dravid

Hero of our times - 8

When the Israelis had the Gaza wall and the China its Great wall; and for the Germans the Berlin wall, we Indians had a wall to be proud of. He was not known for his architectural beauty exactly. But he came to be known for his grit and mental strength.

I was at school when I had this fantasy of pasting his newspaper cut out into my ID cards. No one thought it as cool. Because Dravid wasn't your kind of cool guy. He was a simple man on and off the field. Even his ads weren't flamboyant. Interestingly, he showed more toughness while in the middle than his compatriots who were tough boys in ads.

He belonged to a group who stood by their beliefs and principles when the entire team was sold out to highest fixer. He along with Sachin cultivated unquestioned reputation and the country which identified itself with the game had someone to be happy about.

He along with a handful of seniors (though not age wise ) had this onerous responsiblity to lead a young team out of sewage and salvage the pride. It would've been honourable if at least the world cup winning team showed the grace to acknowledge their contribution.</p> <p>In an age where success is confined to stats, Dravid's contribution was much more than the figures on a television screen.

My first memory is from England '99. The only three batsmen showed even an iota of international standards. Dravid and Ganguly came up game after game and he ended up as second highest scorer. He was not known for heroically chasing the targets. People preferred him getting out as the entertainment factor was low. But for a real cricket enthusiast Dravid was a joy to watch. The perfectly still head when the feet moved like a ballad was a revelation. Still without much aplomb he was careful to pace the innings.

That was a time when fitness was secondary in India . Running between the wicket was a comedy of errors where old men heaved themselves around while they were thrown down by agile fielders. But Dravid set out an example as he played all these years effortlessly running and fielding almost with no injury to his credit.

Certainly, Sachin might find his days lonely in the middle. Laxman might follow the retirement path soon. Laxman had to go through the most thankless career. I certainly feel Indians could have been a bit more respectful during the recent dark days in Australia. I didn't see any greater commitment from the so called youth brigade. How can it be justified when we say seniors ought to make room.

Besides , it might be the north - south divide which saw no support or analysis on Dravid or Laxman. When they sang praises for bludgeonin by Sehwag, we missed the silent stars on their pages. Besides the expert analysis and commentory on game has also become a rarity as it slowly moves into shorter and run plunder format.

I don't think many of the 'fans' will miss you. But Dravid, you'll always be my hero.

ICC cricket World Cup '11

You may say the World Cups are held to crown the ‘champion’ of the world for a duration of 4 years. But I would say it’s more than that. For the (extra)ordinary men they find it the place to market the sport, product and nowadays even the sportsperson. Look at this, after the recent soccer world cup, the interest in game surely sored up in India. Many youngsters from affluent families have taken up the sport. Similarly the little heard of players like Forlan, Suarez have become hot picks for the rich clubs.

I started watching the cricket’s world cup from the year ’99 when the world cup happened in England. To be frank, I bothered only about Indian matches. India losing or winning was greeted with same passion. In India the sport gained mass publicity when Kapil Dev lifted the World Cup in ’83. Cricket to India became what Football was to Brazil. For a nation that was held down by the shackles of License Raj, Cricket became a common, middle class man’s quick visa to fame and riches. But cricket couldn’t get over the typical Indian mindset where the individual star value, regionalism and connections gained prominence over performance and talent in team selection.
Again we Indians took it on our stride, as we do when we hear of scams. Indian defeats were greeted with as much as passion as the rare victories. The team that of a bunch, not even fit for the domestic matches. The fielding was the most abysmal. Running between the wickets was a joke. If you have forgotten I would help you to recollect a few names- Venkatesh Prasad, Sidhu, Nayan Mongia, T Kumaran, Kanithkar, the list goes on. But still we considered them the favorites in every World Cup.

Things would have gone on in the same way, had not the Cronje scandal hit the world. The old guard were sent off unceremoniously. Soon Ganguly took over and Indian cricket meant business. He brought on some of the most talented young ones across the country and stuck on with them even in tough times. Soon we started winning even abroad. The white men realized we didn’t chicken out on short pitched deliveries. Ganguly should have been given the farewell he deserved. It’s my opinion he was grossly mistreated.

The world over, cricket was changing. The sponsors wanted the game to last the full quota. The sporting pitches started dying out. The batsmen started indulging more and more in extravagant shots. Then the T-20 came on and cricket was not the same anymore. I started losing the interest in the sport. There was no more predictability and a few mindless strokes could change the whole game. The technical brilliance gave way to bravado.

Now I have reduced my interest in the game to browsing through the scoreboard. It seems the people are more interested in the IPL that follows the WC. I hope Sachin overcomes the final huddle and walks down the horizon with pride and bat held high. Still the single biggest error that kept India from the final destination still remains- awkward team selection. We have taken a injury prone pace bowler, another one who performs once in a blue moon, a batsman who has no idea what fitness is all about and a spinner who hasn’t played for a long time.

The perplexing question is absence of Sreesanth , although there is no logical explanation to it. May be he brings down the morale in dressing room. And we Mallus are glad that we are spared from watching the antics of his mother in TV (in case he does well).

Even with all its flaws, I would want Team India to do very well.

T20

I am not much of a follower of the capsular form of cricket. But I rejoiced in the hours of midnight when England won the third edition of T20 World Cup.

England is the birth place of three major sporting events of the world. But due to sheer misfortune they haven’t been lucky to dominate in any.

Thankfully the victory in WC provided some kind of contradiction to their fortune in previous outings. Except in a very few countries, cricket is no longer a thriving sport. I believe England hasn’t been able to find an exceptionally talented player or match winner for the past 10 years.
The very few who promised, ended up as casuality. Steve Harmison was a man who promised a lot only to end up as a big failure. Flintoff would have been the match winner England needed for long. His infamous injuries cut off his career. There were many more than these two. It could have been due to the incompetent medical staff.

England’s struggle to find a wicket keeper was as famous as its World Cup victory. There hasn’t been anyone coming since Alec Stewart. When Monty took over as the main spinner for the England team, it highlighted the poverty in spin department. I still remember the sarcasm with which he was met with by Indian commentators. One couldn’t disagree with them. He was not even fit for a local game.

T20 format game is just in the phase of evolution. Everyone are on the path of learning and the rest of the world has learnt more than what India did.
T20 doesn’t require an exceptionally skilled player. It’s a brainless game and you just need a bunch of guys with great physique and die-hard attitude. May be you will need a captain with a bit of brains.

So there is no point in selecting semi-fit players based on their past performance. Players have to be selected only if they are fit- physically and mentally.
You need the raw strength and energy. T20 is not for the timid. Bowlers are the least respected and has to be punished invariably. No matter what, not a single ball should be allowed to pass through and has to be chased all the way to ropes. And we desperately need good divers.
No matter how big or small the team is battle lasts till the last over. So you need the hard attitude to change the momentum at the last minute.

And almost all the eleven players get a chance to bat. So what we need is some 8 batsmen who can bowl decently well. And a few bowlers who can haul the ball to 6.
When we have the only competitive T20 league in the world, why don’t we select players based on the performance in the league? Years ago I used to read Srikanth’s fiery column in ‘The Hindu’. He used to bash the selectors helter and skelter. He had the image of rebel from his playing days. Now I believe the only guy who needs to be sacked is Srikanth, who filled up the team with semi-fit, out-of-form favorites.

When it comes to sports, when will India learn?

The Great Indian Circus

IPL 3 had all the ingredients of an Indian movie. It had heroes and villains on the field. Their lady loves cheered from the stand. They got hugs from top heroines if they won the match. Fate came dressed in the dark dress of an umpire. Then there were playmakers/ betters who pulled the strings sitting comfortably in their executive lounge. There was tears, joy, grief, shouts of victory and strange anti-climaxes. In short all the ingredients you ever needed for a masala entertainment.

Towards the end the IPL was transformed to a huge circus tent when a few stars made a clown out of themselves.

Lalit Modi:
He was arrogance re-incarnated. Nothing and no one dared to touch him. He was the keeper of dark secrets of the high and mighty. He wouldn’t think twice on rubbing off someone unimportant. But he knew how to keep the powerful happy.
If he had kept his motor mouth and greed in check, he would have been making his millions still through dubious means. Who would have mind as long as they had their share of cut?

Shashi Tharoor:
The savvy, US-educated, former UN diplomat Indian minister barged into a party uninvited and he was thrown out unceremoniously. That was what happened in his IPL adventure.
Except for the educated ‘Mallus’ no one gave a damn about the poor man’s qualification.
To me, either he is an innocent fool or a cunning politician cum businessman.
First of all he was unaware of the well known fact that the major stakeholder in his team didn’t have a credible source of income. But any intelligent man would do a small research on the people with whom he plans to do a business. Or was Shashi intelligent enough to ignore the well known facts.
Secondly the ‘best-seller’ author and ‘global citizen’ didn’t know the Indian laws on sweat equity. He didn’t know that the ‘sweat’ didn’t come free. His alleged beau, Sunanda, tried to manipulate the media with her teary outcries. But no one brought her ‘sweat’ story.
But Shashi, nevertheless, salvaged a small victory when the Congress branch in Kerala portrayed him as a fallen hero.

Shilpa Shetty:
The only movie I can remember of the former movie star is the famous song with Akshay and the sleazy number she did with her sister.
The jobless Shilpa, was doing cooking and cleaning for Raj Mundra when she read in a morning paper that she owns an IPL team. So this brought the former ‘Big brother’ winner back in front of the camera.
We had to bear her histrionics once again. But this time it was on the stands. She never how to act and she did her worst performance while cheering for her team. The weeping Shilpa was the snap of the season.
Nevertheless things were going good for her, when her savior Lalit was caught with pants down. She made brave attempts to save him with her idiotic remarks. But Shilpa hasn’t understood that the Indians consider her only as a B grade actress.
To make matters worse, BCCI stated that they haven’t found either Raj Kundra’s or Shilpa’s name in the owners list.

SRK:
SRK deserves ‘the artificial man on earth’ award. There is nothing original about him.
His wax statue in Madame Tassaud’s is more orginal than his waxed skin, stitched hair and toned body.
His movies are used as materials on ‘How not to act’ materials in big film schools. He must get a honorary doctorate than anyone else.
Apart from all these, the movies he does lacks originality, his awards are fixed and the statements have no sincerity.
His team KKR is an image of himself. They have the best support staff and players from all over the world. He himself markets the team as if it’s a movie. The team even has a designer jersey- first of its kind in the world. The top stars from Bollywood cheers his team.
Despite all these, KKR always ends up at the bottom season after season. SRK personally chalks out the strategies and choose the captains.
And now his team is one among the few suspected for financial irregularities. So much for a on-screen-patriot.

Now guys take your pick.

Why the idea of IPL/T20 has to be re-visited/re-thought

1. My first argument is it destroys the good old cricket. It’s a good old argument which will be countered by a valid point that there is no time to spare for a 5 day event.

IPL was never an original idea. All the finer points were borrowed from soccer leagues and even NFL. In the greed to rake in maximum money we forgot that no other leagues altered the rules of the game. T20 was begun keeping in mind to start cricket leagues. But cricket was sacrificed for the purpose and no league except the Indian version became successful.

Let me be honest. I have no such false ideas as Test cricket will gain popularity. I have no such belief. But we can prevent T20 from being a mindless entertainer if we tweak the rules a bit.

2. ICC should be mature enough to accept the IPL and other cricket leagues. If not, they have to come up with viable alternatives. There are only a handful of cricketing teams and it’s a huge bore to watch them time and again.

3. It’s true that the stakeholders have invested millions in the clubs and they ought to rake in the money back. Advertisements in between each ball are certainly not the way to do it.

4. Redesign the jerseys. The team colour is one way in which the team is branded. The base colours have to remain constant. That is a way loyalty and passion is cultivated among fans. But sadly IPL has some of the worst jerseys. At least base colours have to remain the same. But even they are changed every season. Another option is do the ‘home and away’ in English model.

I believe one jersey sponsor is good enough. The Punjab Kings walking with the sicker of Vim ironed to their jersey is a good joke, I remember the Deccan Chargers had almost all the sponsors in the country on their shirts.

5. In a 5 day competition there are 11 batsmen in an innings, so does an ODI. Do we need 11 in T20 too. I don’t think so. The real trouble with the IPL is the quality teams aren’t winning. The game is won merely on individual performances. Out of the 11 if a couple of batsmen bat or a couple of bowlers bowl the game is won. It might be good for the unpredictability but not good for a team game.

6. Cricketing is turning out to be more and more a continental game. Leagues have to be started in other countries to give opportunities for more and more players. It’s no fun for IPL to exist alone in the big world

7. IPL is caught between devil and the sea on participation of more and more teams. Lalit Modi and his businessmen friends would love to rake in more and more money through more teams. But even two more teams can more than double the number of games. This could lead to a variety of problems.

The fixtures are very tightly arranged to get maximum number of foreign players and maximum money for TV channels. Two more teams can strain these adjustments to a point of rupture.

Presently a team has 14 games. This is no football league and viewers are in here for mere entertainment. 14 games spanning for more than a month is boring them a great deal. More games would certainly prompt them to switch off their TV sets.

One good idea is to start a second division and relegation practice as in soccer. An impractical solution considering the huge amount each owner paid for the team.

Start two seasons a year with different set of players in each.

8. I believe we will have to bid goodbye to the ageing Australians soon.

9. Start buying and selling players between the teams. It will add to the drama of IPL. I have found that weakness of a team remains the same for years. I can’t understand why there is no attempt to buy or develop the players they need.

10. Throw out the slimy bastard, Modi. He is too much a crook and will some day bring down the entire establishment of IPL.

11. The selection of Indian T20 teams has to be done based on the performances in IPL. Sadly Indian selectors still go for the selection based on star value. I strongly stand for a separate team for T20 rather than the same one in all the formats.