What I would look for in a woman

Very soon I will be approaching my 30s- the age of the famous mid-life crises. All my compatriots are busy getting married off, flying to exotic places, begetting babies & posting it all in facebook. It’s best to stay away from the temptation of browsing through FB. The timelines have been serving as a constant source of jealousy.

Ever since I completed quarter of a century on the face of the earth, my parents have been pushing me to get married off. Ever since my teens I have abhorred the institution & adamantly pledged to stay a heretic for the rest of my life. Once in my college fest, where I was pushed to stage to take part in some Personality Contest , I declared that marriage distracts you from the greater goal. I laid out the examples of APJ, Vivekananda. Those were heady days of dreams & ideologies.

Just 10 years later, I realize I have no goal and no concrete ideology. Hence there’s no point in staying unmarried. All my compatriots are getting married off too. I don’t know the inspiration behind it. May be it’s the fear of turning old alone. May be humans are born to mate & pro create.

I am on a dilemma, having to push myself to commit into an act I am not sure of. Having said that, I realize most of the life turning decision of a common man is taken by the people around him. Great men make their own decisions.

Amid all the noise, I approach a great friend & mentor. I asks him, ‘Dude I am looking to get married but I don’t know what to look for’. He says ‘ Write down what you really want in a woman’

So here I am writing down the list of ‘what I’m looking for in a woman’

BE WARNED: Girls, you will find it very tough to resist the temptation of falling in love with me 

1.       Beauty/ Lust factor: When I was high on teenage hormones, I dreamt of marrying those busty Tamil actors. Pretty naughty one, I know. Later on came the feel for cherubic beauty ( the cute kinds). By the time I was out of college & worldly wise, I realized busty babes wouldn’t be good enough when they are older. So I switched to slim ones.Years rolled by & I came to realize how unfairly biased is the ‘marriage market’ is for the girls with comparatively lesser beauty.  If you don’t have the money & land to offset the defect in your beauty (looks), you may end up putting up your profile for a long time in marriage matrimonial. I had a very ordinary looking friend who migrated to USA and took up nursing. Recently I found her married in FB to some hot guy. The guy was giving cool poses in some fancy cars.

That’s where looks end and money talks

2.       Profession & Intellect: I have always been turned by women with high intellectual capability. I wouldn’t take someone from my own profession, as I would like to leave the office at office. Economics, English have been huge turn on for me.

I abhor IT industry in equal measures. I am not at all bothered about the pay packet. Being the lazy guy I am, I would prefer her earn more and I would hand over the reins to her & be an obedient husband for the rest of my life.

I want her to be intelligent with pretty strong ideas. My mom was always on the opposite side. When the talk turned to worldly matters, she put up a poor picture of herself. Still she brought up the kids- not bad

3.       Religion, Ethics: This must be one crucial & confusing part for me. I have been a fairly good religious person and all of a sudden the vanity in the institution.  It would be tough if the girl takes a contrasting view. But it would be good to fake a religious fervor, atleast by the time kids are old. Even with all the rotten tomatoes religion imparts a sense of identity.

I had these fancy ideas on becoming a revolutionary. Even today I nurse the secret fantasies. I hope marriage doesn’t deter me if the call comes along. Or may be I would quit the job and join some college or turn a farmer. I simply don’t want to be a white collared son of a bitch.

Sadly it ends here. I am a boring guy after all