Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Made in Heaven

Media and sleazy magazines particularly have a party time when someone gets caught in a mess- double party if there is a remote connection to sex. I was on a vacation to my friends in Bangalore. I saw the daily newspaper lying on the sofa.
‘We use it as a substitute for porn’.
On the fear of a sting operation I refrain from naming the paper. But Bangloreans can take a guess on the paper that does a daily research on the actresses’ boob size.

A few weeks back the papers were on a rock and roll.
The Boy and The Girl had been married for just six days. The Couple was back from Kerala. The Boy’s friends managed to get an apartment for them. Six days and back to work!! Well, for an Indian professional it’s a nightmare to get married or to produce a baby. I know a few people who had to beg their managers to allow them to get married (read as permission for leave). And you better not have a baby if there are no retired parents to look after it.

Getting back to the story, The Girl’s parents dropped The Couple at their home to get the breakfast. They returned back to see two bodies bathed in blood. They vainly hoped that it was a break-in. To their horror the boy admitted to murder and attempted suicide.

Everyone got into speculative mood. From what I get from the sleazy magazines, The Girl was churning out triple of what The Boy was churning. So apparently she assumed the manager post in the family and started pissing off The Boy. Anyways in a fine moment The Boy lost his cool.
The marriage was one supposed to be made in heaven. He was quite active in the religious activities. She was a relative of the Bishop. The small Christian community was shocked. Studies were done and sermon delivered on the reason of failure of the Y-Generation marriages.

So where have we gone wrong?

Parents have to reconcile with the fact that their kids have their own set of values and principles. Why? Just do a mental calculation on the amount of time your kid spends with you. The bulk amount of time is spent in school, colleges, office, private rooms, computers, televisions or friends. You have no means to influence them. The funny thing is the lives of parents’ wouldn’t be a worthwhile piece to emulate.

The television and media has done enough to create a bunch of kids ‘liberal’ in their outlook. Adultery and infidelity are glorified. Corrupt politicians and businessmen are eulogized and so are our bollywood stars turning up with their skimpily clad girl friends.

So never make a choice for your child’s life partner. They may agree to your choice not bothering to pick up a fight. Leave them to their own mechanisms and in time they will come up with their mates.

Come to terms with the fact that your kid has more knowledge and exposure to sex (than you). Check out the number of girl kids who hit the beauty salon for waxing. Don’t tell me there is no sexual element involved. Or even check out the pre- teen girls with padded bra, the lewd SMSes exchanged daily, the number of boys who hit the gyms, spike their hair or get a tattoo. Even more the idiot box in your living room has enough ammo for a sexual high.

I had to wait till 15 to grasp the method of sex. There was no CDs available and no one was familiar with internet. The only option was video parlour. Since the entire neighborhood uses the same parlor, chances of getting caught were high.

Get a grip, human civilization is moving back into Jungle era where people explore various options of pleasure. The danger of sexual dissatisfaction is high. So open up your minds and allow your kid to have certain levels of freedom. Rather than being taught let him experience that sex/sexuality is not the most important thing to happen.

Have you come across Indian movies where the newly wedded soldier husband has to report for duty immediately after marriage because some war broke up. Well it’s not unrealistic any more. The Indian youths hit the office right after their marriage. Jokes apart, I have seen couples, wedded out of love, going for their (first) honeymoon years after the marriage. We are so insecure that we decide to settle down as soon as we wed. So we cannot go around with our wives in the public transport and here comes a car on credit. We will never know when the owner throws us out of his house and here comes an apartment. So let’s spend rest of our lives repaying the loan. Come on, life is too short for loan repayment.

And lastly, do not get married as soon as you are engaged. It’s really healthy to have a long courtship. Discuss all you have to at this time. Get to know each other as the palm of your hand. So that your first night will have no space for words but just for some hot action.

Hey, I am looking for an alternative career as a marriage counselor. Howzzat!!

12 comments:

Shady West Side said...

hmmmm..hmmmmm...hmmmmmm

well jon u did say things correctly...our life is very different from the lives of our parents and guess we will need to be settled before we get married so that marriage is not till we repay our loan( which in turn is forever) kinda things

Jon said...

True shahid...the vicious cycle

Praveen said...

well..lot of harsh truths that come packaged with modernity :D...
and agree with u on most points here..

Mingled Minds said...

i jus wished i could make my mom and dad read dis post widout me getting screwed up..lolz...

and bout ur alternate career...koool...go ahead..

simply me said...

1)left to their own mechanisms might have an adverse effects--
freedom comes with responsibility and i don't think "gen" can handle freedom with responsibility.

2) "didn't our parents spend their life repaying loans for that dream house they built???" mine parents did

3) children at that age don't have maturity to learn lessons of life...and before they get to this stage "Rather than being taught let him experience that sex/sexuality is not the most important thing to happen." they might have harmed themselves

4)totally agree you should have a long and healthy courtship

just a few views of mine

Jon said...

Guys agreed ... my points are extremist. But unless we learn and expore the extremity we will not know the right way
As Praveen said we will have to accept these harsh truths Thanx man

@Mingled Minds... Why dont u take a print out and post it ur home address ;)

@simply-me....
1)'might have'...but we dont have an aletrnative solution too that works.
As I said the waters are muddy
2)Our parents didnt have to pay it for a mansion or a luxury vehicle... Look around the loans are more or less a lifestyle problem
3) Dont you think there is a conflkict while we give them freedom to watch any programme, movie, browse anything, see anyone and still restrict them at some unwanted areas... but what u said is perfect

bourne said...

to be a marriage counselor you must have plenty of experience with marriages, so go out there and marry a minimum of 4 girls..:D

jokes apart, the vicious cycle of loans and repayment is there. but even worse is the cycle of education and work. i've seen people who spend 14 hours a day in office and in a week it makes 70 hours. they get only the weekends with their family and in that we can assume a maximum of 10 hours for their kids. think about it 70 hours for some unknown employer and 10 hours for their own kids.
when i talked to one of them about it, the reply i got was that it is for the future of their kids, and when i asked what they meant by future of kids, the answer was a job where the kid can buy branded apparels, and keep himself busy for 70 hours a week working for someone. so they want to bring their kids also into the same vicious cycle.
then there is a guy, who does the outdoor works in our home, who get paid Rs.250 a day. most of the evenings he goes out with his son to the town, have some vada or fastfood, and sometime goes to nearby toddy shop with his friends, who live a similar life. for me he seemed far more successful in life than the friend who earns more than a lakh a month.

i tried to make my mother understand these things, but couldn't do it. so before you prepare yourself to be a marriage councellor, do a research on ways by which we can convince our parents and make them understand about this nasty cycle.:D:D

Jon said...

Bourne,
Thanxx for the comment man... Just the thing i was saying. We forgot what is valuable to us and what is not

rohini said...

it was an intersting read..is all i want to say....
this post was written by a son...his views...i want the post frm a teenage's parent now
their r many qtn's which even parent cant answer...few rules are inherited frm the ages...i think this is the only property which kids dnt want ..still hve to accept it

regarding marriage counsellor...first tip from ur side i hae gt is the long period of courtship..thnx for that...will tell my kid for this....

Jon said...

Yes, Rohini. As a parent this might be indegistible.
Infact I am not saying my way is the right way. But we will have to relook into our outlook.

Either we go completely into west or stay in the east. Half of two will not work

rohini said...

yup...u r rite..we r in the mid way...and we ourselves dnt kn wat is rite and wats wrong...but for this i alws think a policy which should be adopted by...is ..Live and Let live....stay happy...

Praveen said...

I just loved Bourne's comment..! redefining success...and yes, this should be the definition of success.

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Shakespeare,Da Vinci, Benjamin Franklin and Lincoln never saw a movie,heard a radio or looked at TV. They had loneliness and knew what to do with it. Thay were not afraid of being lonely because they knew that was when the creative mood in them would work.