Arranged v/s Love

Years ago, I was still in college. That was the time when first seeds of rebellion and  reality, all grappled with each other. There were choices to be made and a life to be lived.
It was a time when India was doing rather well in industrial arena. The MNCs came in hordes and picked their students promising them immense wealth.

We had to prepare ourselves for this group discussions which were part of the interview. One such topic was 'arranged v/s love marriage'. I were as usual shy and tongue tied. I were looking for someone to hand me a chance to speak. Then suddenly all the blabber seemed to die down and I spoke my first sentence

' In India marriage happens between two communities rather than individual'
No one had a counter.

Years have gone by. Now I stare at this inevitablity called marriage. Or rather I would say with doubts on the stand I took long time back. Many of my mates got married, out of love or out of helplessness. A few years ago, the whole of my faith community was shocked when a devout guy bludgeoned to death his newly wed wife. The reason being she questioned his impotency.

My cousin , was too very eager to migrate to UK. He married off to a girl who seemed quiet and homely. But they divorced soon after because he couldn't digest her male friends and night life. He came back home .

My college mate, she was bubbly, full of cheer, very intelligent and grounded. ( I was smitten once upon a time too ) . She got married off to a well connected guy and flew USA. From the last chat, she's not pleased with living a life.

It's alarming that the way in which  so called 'arranged marriage' system has evolved over the years. In the name of preserving an age old tradition, we have mixed up commercialization, greed and fetishism.

Once when the avenues for a boy and girl to meet were rare & when joint family system was still in force , the arrangement of marriage had a relevance. But today you live in a cellular world and you have access to so many women right from college. So when you get tied down to a choice , make sure its the right one.

I have a few female friends who's undergoing the process of groom hunting. The process starts off with building a fake profile in the internet. Then the groom comes visiting or his relatives( who voluntarily took the responsibility of destroying his life ). The small talks are made , which is used to evaluate the financial viablity and family name.

Then the guy talks to the girl in private. The probable questions being 'have you had sex', 'you have boyfriends', 'you have beautiful girlfriends', 'you wear western outfit'. After the whole fiasco the visitors return home and call the girl back to say ' you and your family stink '
The girl is forced to fake more for the next fiasco.

I met a beautiful girl, Swathi. We talked on her family. She was married right in college braving some tough opposition from family. They both were jobless and had to live out of family charity. Slowly they both made a mark and ended up with cool careers. The way she talks about her daughter and husband, I was in  awe. I asked her the secret ....LOVE...she said.

The greatest shortfall in arranging a marriage is we look at the education, character, looks, family. But we don't bother about love.
Subjecting our women to such humiliation and then sing praises of the institution is moronic. Every practice and culture has to evolve in time, or they might destroy us.

**** A big thanks to the bitch for the inspiration***