Saturday, April 25, 2020

Seeking validation


Around this time of last year, I dumped my only full sleeve shirt in the dustbin. It was not torn or unusable. I had brought it the year before to wear it at the annual promotion interviews. Last year was the second time I got rejected. This year, when I missed the bus again for the third time I had nothing left to throw off the drain. 

As the pain and humiliation subsided, there was a feeling of cool soothe. it is said that the pain reduces after each blow. You enter into a perpetual state of existentialism and wait for the ‘greater good’ from the heavens above.  



10 years ago as I joined this institution a senior person told me, ‘You are not meant for this place.’ He didn’t mean to chide me but stated this as a matter of fact. Every April as I wait for the selected list of promotees with a pumping heart and browse down the list to find that my name has been left out this year as well, the words of that man rings like an oracle. The small man as I am, it leaves me with abject morbidity to see people below me, climb up the ladder. 



Validation is all that I have been yearning for, all my life. Right from parents to teachers, classmates, friends, colleagues and the bosses. I yearn for those little ‘Congrats’ messages with emoticons of flowers and claps and thumbs up. But I am not sure if to seek validation in a job you don’t like by people who hardly like you is the redemption I wish for. I have boasted myself of being ‘different’ and ‘rebellious’. That might have been a way of seeking attention but the world knows no greater stupidity. The system weeds out the ‘different’ and the ‘rebellious’. Those who claim to have climbed the ladder while being ‘different’ are no better than pimps for the system.





One of my worst fears has been of obscurity. That I will fade out of this world, unheard and unknown. Perhaps that is why I have been yearning for the validation. The affable Punjabi guy, who was roomed with me during a training program told me’ Either you have to reach the top or don’t even bother.’



Perhaps its time I learn not to bother.


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Shakespeare,Da Vinci, Benjamin Franklin and Lincoln never saw a movie,heard a radio or looked at TV. They had loneliness and knew what to do with it. Thay were not afraid of being lonely because they knew that was when the creative mood in them would work.